That is why my husband seems totally focused on rebuilding after he ended his affair, and why two years later we are still being cyber-stalked and bullied.

As you have already seen, this is the nicest group of people you wish you had never had to meet!

Yes your wife does believe she is in love with the OM

Women do build up the fantasy of the affair…mine did. She had constructed this whole fantasy life around this guy. She was imagining holidays and vacations with him and even our children playing together…really? I asked her if she really thought that our children would ever except OM our his kids. She had no response to that question as if she never really thought about that part.

Even thought OM supposedly dumped her, I get the feeling that she thinks they will find each other again in the future and be together, Even if she isn’t thinking that way, she has still left our marriage behind.

I do feel OM was meeting some of her needs but I could never find out what they were from her. I do think I was meeting most of her needs and OM only a few but she placed a premium on those few of exaggerated the importance of them. I had asked her many times and her answers always ranged from “no” to “I don’t know”. I have read thousands of messages between her and OM that I got from OM’s wife. ..Decimated or him. She responded you (OM) of coarse.

I might add that these messages were the most painful stuff I have ever had to digest. There was enough detail to make me sick. Indo Aqui..physically. I could only read for a few minutes at a time. I would have to walk away from the computer in order to get a hold on myself emotionally. She was a different person to him then she was to me. She was trying to be his fantasy as well.

At one point, OM asked My ex who she loved more

Decimated I have read that the PA is much harder on the BS male than the BS woman. The EA is much harder on the BS female than the BS male. LOL lucky me I got both. Kinda like having the flu and stomach flu at the same time. I digress.

She sounds like she lives in Fantasyville. I’ll bet when your wedding was coming around all she could talk about was being the center of attention and the princess for the day. ULK I used to do flowers for weddings. I hate brides! All that “it’s my special day” crap. I’m sure you were a wonderful husband and you fulfilled all her needs however these women it is never enough. They constantly need that attention and prince Charming. If you lack one iota of that fantasy they go somewhere else. She always has to be regarded as “special”. It is such a drive that she risks everything. Yes she does believe your kids will accept him and he them because she only lives in her own fantasies. She has A LOT of growing up to do because that whole princess crap wears thin on most adults. I hope you can see what a better place you are in without her. Yes you will have to deal with her because of the kids and that is important but more importantly is to look at yourself and make sure you don’t choose another woman with this kind of personality disorder again (hear me young man. ?? )