Finally, I’ll name what we all know but haven’t all been able to disavow. When we create that fairytale picture and have that subconscious expectation, anything less than will feel wrong in comparision. We’ll feel disappointed and alone in search for the prince or princess.
Moreover, there’s often a notion that we will feel “whole” and “complete” when we have a partner for life. If we are looking for completeness, we need to be whole in our own self. We all intuitively know this, but we still look for external validation, which is, of course, a natural, human response. However, if we were to shift the paradigm of “he/she is everything to me” to “they are such a great addition and support to my life” we can be in a place to manage any disappointments or challenges that will inevitably happen.
If we first have a sense of self-love and a supportive community, finding a good partner won’t feel so lonely. At the very least, it will lighten the sense of burden.